Board Games

Ever since I was a kid, I have loved board games. I’m a thirty year old security guard that still gets off on playing mouse trap. Being single and living alone dramatically hinders my board game addiction. I could play Jenga by myself or maybe Ker-plunk. Scrabble is out, as is monopoly. Classics like Battleship now sit collecting dust in the spare room.

One of my favorite games as a kid was The Game of Life. I guess being a kid and not really knowing what life had in store, it was almost like playing with Tarot cards. You’d spin that little numbered spin wheel, move your piece and land on options like ‘Go to College or go into the workforce’, I remember back thinking that was one of the hardest decisions I had to make as a child. To be totally honest, I haven’t played that game since I was a kid, but I still remember the board and game play like I only reveled in it this morning.

My only concern, thinking back, and now being an adult, someone really needs to update the game and make it a little more modern. To take into account today’s economic climate. I for one would like to see new additions to the game. Maybe even new versions, like ‘The Game of Life: The Slums Edition’ where you can chose to play as a 14 year old girl with opening choices like ‘Get pregnant or get addicted to crack’ or even ‘The Game of Life: USA edition’ with options like ‘Get into debt or get into debt’. Even an Australian version would be kind of awesome ‘The Game of Life: Down Under’ opening decisions like ‘Get a Holden or get a Ford’. The ultimate version ‘The Game of Life: The World Edition’ where Greece can’t afford to play and London volunteers to host but then down pours with a deluge of rain. How about new endings? Like ‘Retire? Pfft, yeah right…you lost 100K during the GFC, go back 30 years and start again’. Come on Milton Bradley, listen to my ideas, they’ll work.

I also think Monopoly could do with a revision. I know they came out with the ‘Here and Now’ edition, adding cute little accompaniments like using credit cards instead of cash and having a Leer jet as a token piece. The credit card add on I felt was slightly irresponsible for children, teaching them that it is okay to live on credit. I’d like to see ‘Monopoly: The Communist China Edition’ where the only colour for sale on the board are the red properties and your tokens are IPod’s and Nike shoes. There is no jail, but you do get ten public lashings for looking at a government official in the eye. How about ‘Monopoly: Syria Edition’ where the game never actually starts and all players must protest about who will take control. Better still ‘Monopoly: Greece’ nobody has any money, the player in control of the bank is corrupt, all other players are sitting jail and all the property now belongs to that 14 year old crack head who is playing ‘The Game of Life’.

Yes, I do love my board games. If only life were more like them. To be able to live based on the outcome of a simple role of the dice. If each day you received a ‘CHANCE’ card in the mail. If coming across a ladder actually took you closer to the top.  If owning four houses instantly entitled you to owning a hotel. If there really was a mystical place called ‘GO’ that gave you two hundred dollars each time you passed. Yes, life would be a lot more interesting.

Do you have a favorite game? Is there one from your childhood that stands out? What versions of games would you like to see? Comment below and let me know, surely I am not the only grown man addicted to these enticing little time wasters.

Until next time,

-Chris

Oliver says 'CAN I PLAY?'