Recapping and Food for Thought

Preface

I’m starting to feel this blog is evolving into something I had never actually planned for. I’m getting regular readers and I feel I need to give these dedicated, constant readers a little more bang for their buck (Don’t worry, I’m not charging for it yet). I’ve sat down and tried my best to create a more structured and aesthetically pleasing blog. So stay tuned over the following days and weeks for the changes, and if you want, you can tweet me @ThatChrisMorris and tell me if you hate/like/love/freaked out/turned on/inspired or downright loath the blog. Also, I’d like to encourage others to start their own blog, it’s not hard and it’s a great stress reliever. To anybody that would like to start their own ramblings of a blog, I would like to offer a guest spot here at Bloggin’ With Chris. Maybe you want to donate your pearls of wisdom or maybe you want to give your opinion on a topic I have discussed…whatever you want to say, my podium is all yours, I have no rules and no guidelines, so if you feel you want to bestow some words to the blogging world, put pen to paper or fingers on keys and inundate me with a deluge of your creative juices.

Again, thanks for reading and on with the show…

ACT I

Well, yesterday’s blog stirred a reaction that I didn’t think would happen. I didn’t think that talking about my personal sex life would be an issue for people. Not all of you of course, and even those of you who did voice your opinion, both digitally and, if you were lucky enough to catch me yesterday, to my face, you were all very elegant in your uneasiness of the topic. I suppose I should take a moment and clear a few things up. Firstly, it would seem that a few women thought it was a bad idea for me to talk about how bad I am in bed. I would like to point out, that while I thought it was a funny little anecdote about my sexual prowess, it was not an indication to suggest that sex with me is akin to that of two epileptic mountain goats trying to perform fellatio on each other … (all I can think of now are two goats precariously perched atop a mountain side in a sixty nine position, I’m such a child).

Secondly, the retelling of the loss of my innocence was not a behind the back stab at the young girl in question, most certainly not. To the best of my knowledge she moved on to have a very fruitful and active sex life. She wasn’t horribly scarred, nor did the experience scare her away from men, she is still comfortably heterosexual and probably enjoys cock like any other well adjusted woman. I’m fairly sure she doesn’t read the blogs and if she does, please drop me a line or maybe tweet me and tell me if you think my account was an accurate portrayal or did I embellish? I’ll even publish your exact words with no editing if you would like to tell your side of the story. You know who you are and you know how to contact me…

ACT II

What is taboo these days? It’s just too hard to keep up anymore. Are there certain topics that should remain locked in the social etiquette vault? I understand that there are issues that can cause certain people to feel apprehensive when brought up in a social circle. Words like ‘Abortion’ ‘Rape’ ‘Gay Rights’ and ‘Willie Nelson’ make some people cringe when spoken out loud. I respect an individual’s right to be offended, but just remember, as the wise Ricky Gervais once said ‘Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right’. What would be the point in getting offended and upset with some prehistoric Neanderthal’s jaded view on the world? No point at all, just chuckle and move on. Seeing as I am on a quote fuelled run today, here’s another one I happen to like and use quite often when out and about conversing with said Neanderthals, from the brilliant mind of Mark Twain ‘Do not argue with an idiot, they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience’. I’ll admit, I’ve had the shit beaten out of me by idiots before.

What I’m getting at with the whole taboo and forbidden topic issue is that I will never set out to offend someone, to be honest; it’s not enjoyable and it's way too easy to achieve. Anybody can talk offensive drivel; try an intelligent conversation once in a while. I know it sounds daunting and you might just learn something, but give it whirl, it’s actually quite fun.

~INTERMISSION~

I love eating out (minds out of the gutter, I’m off the sex talk for at least a week). I love eating out at bars, restaurants, pubs and clubs. I like finding new tucked away places and getting the whole experience. Last night it was dinner at a quaint little place called ‘The Queen's Head’ a nice and modest hidden bar in North Adelaide. The food was exceptional and the ambiance was well above par. Open fire place, bookshelves, leather couches and old black and white photos hang around the place to give you an almost nostalgic feeling. The problem I have is not with the bar itself, it was with one individual behind the bar. It’s not a huge issue and normally I would just let it go, however, this incident bordered on the inhumane. I approached the bar with a menu in my hand ready to order my food. I knew what I wanted and my service time would have taken no longer than 45 seconds. As I approached, at the exact same time, a large group of young women also sidled up to the bar (about 10 or 12 in total). ‘Here we go’ I thought ‘What will she do?’ Surely serve the one gentleman waiting before the large group of hungry women’ I couldn’t be more wrong. I waited for twenty-two long and tedious minutes to place my order. A glimmer of hope in my eye every time one woman had placed her order, that maybe, just maybe the young barkeep will turn to me and let me order my food … ‘For fuck sake I am hungry! And I just want to sit back down’ … No. You’ll wait is what the food God’s had decided. A nice little ploy from the publicans of ‘The Queen's Head’ because no matter what food they bring out, you’ll eat the fuck out of it because now you’re the hungriest fucking hippo in the game.

Until next time,

-Chris

Oliver says 'I DON'T WAIT FOR FOOD, I EAT PROMPTLY AT 7'