“...the sea's only gifts are harsh blows and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. Now, I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions…”

                                                                                -Primo Levi, Author of ‘Survival in Auschwitz’ (1919-1987)

I like that quote, it’s one of my all time favorites. You might actually recognize it from the 2007 film ‘Into The Wild’. A great little flick if you ever get the chance to see it. The film is an adaption of the 1996 novel of the same name written by Jon Krakauer and is based on the travels of Christopher McCandless.

I’m a 30 year old man and the one part of that quote that resonates with me is the line about how important it is to measure yourself, at least once, to find yourself at least once, in the most ancient of human conditions. A lot of people will understand that, a few will think about it and move on and the rest simply won’t get it.

For many years I believed it meant a physical state, almost like an episode of Bear Grylls’ Man Vs Wild. That at some point we all need to find ourselves, in the wild, discovering who we are. I still do believe that, but I think it also means something deeper, something more ethereal, more like a state of mind or an emotional feeling, that we need to be challenged and measured by a human condition mankind has faced since we evolved to have conscious thought and began to cognize our own mortality. 

When you are faced with this emotion, this state of mind or conscious thought, this is the challenge. This is where you discover who you are. We are all defined by the choices and decisions we make. We are all defined by the way we handle ourselves in times of trouble, in times of doubt. Some of us fail, some of us rise above. Some of us choose to ignore this emotion, to hide, to hope it goes away and resolves itself. Some of us, the few and far between, don’t even see it. It clouds them, hovering over their heads like a storm on the horizon, never subsiding. They perpetually feel lost, like nothing ever goes their way. They blame others or a bad set of circumstances for the state of their affairs. These are the ones who are just at the beginning of their challenge.

I know this because I have been challenged. I have been measured, and in all honesty, I believe I still am. I am not out of the woods yet myself. I still have choices and decisions to make that will define me, which will display my true self. That will show the courage and strength of my own inner light. I am choosing to face this head on, to step up to the plate and discover who I am. For too long I hid behind a mask. I ran from problems, feelings and emotions. It’s only the past two years that I have begun to discover the real me and it’s because of the challenges I have faced and demons I have conquered that have made me who I am today.

I’m not out of the woods yet, but I can certainly start to see the blue skies through the trees that hang over this wayward path I’m walking along. Just a few more steps and the cobblestones will start to be more stable under my feet. My path of overgrown vines and creeping moss will become a straight and narrow path of trimmed and proper edging. Soon enough I will be able to look back a see a dark forest that once engulfed me, that hid the world from me. It will look dark and cold, it will look lonely, but that’s okay, because in front of me is a path that is bright, warm and inviting. What’s most pleasant about this path I’m looking out upon is that it connects with others people’s paths…and that’s what I like most about it. That’s where all the fun is.

Until next time,

-Chris

Oliver says 'I'M WITH YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY DAD'