My Job Description In 150 Words Or Less

I was going to do a really happy blog today. A fun and happy-go-lucky blog about fuck knows what, but instead, I’ve come to work this morning to be yet again, for lack of better wording, fucked over!

Sitting here sipping at my plunged, organic and certified fair-trade coffee (pretentious I know!) I’ve come to the conclusion that I am completely inept at my job. That news may shock some of you, especially those who actually know what I do for a living or have seen me in my role. I know what you’re thinking “How the fuck could you be inept at sitting behind a desk? How daft are ya?” honestly? I’m not daft or inept at all, I just don’t have my head infused with my own anus, which seems to be the prerequisite for this position. If only they advertised it that way, maybe I wouldn’t have applied. Maybe if the job description had looked a little like this, I would have thought twice…

SEEKING

One anus with a head attached. Must be fully trained and certified at being anally retentive. Past experience in anal retention will be highly regarded.

 JOB REQUIREMENT

To sit on your ass for eight hours a day with the occasional bending over so you can take a giant penis rectally. Performing this task without moaning or grunting will be highly advantageous. Make one peep and we will only push it in deeper and harder.

Desired attributes:

Experience at being anal

A working knowledge of your own anus and others

A complete understanding of how to place your anus into the air and having it fucked. Over and over.

If you are interested please send in a full resume with a photo of your ass to the following HR manager:

Anal McFuck Fuck

At

Fuck you all, I hate my job fuckers! I’m out of here. Fuck.

c/o

PO BOX

ASSFUCKelaide

***

See, a job advertisement like that might have raised a few alarms…maybe, I don’t know. I’m just saying maybe I would have thought twice.

Until next time,

-Chris

NB: Due to legal reasons I cannot disclose the situation that occurred at work. Let’s just say it involved two assholes and a cock.

Oliver says 'LET IT ALL OUT DAD, JUST LET IT ALL OUT'