I’ve Never Cheated, Even For An Exam…
Infidelity is a topic that generally has most people sitting on both sides of the fence, with only a handful perched, ever so precariously, in the middle. Already I can hear you say ‘What? Equally sitting on both sides of the fence?’
The answer is ‘Yes’.
The real travesty is, over half of the humans on this planet have been unfaithful or will be unfaithful in their lifetime, a statistic that used to blow my mind, until recently. The results are in from a study taken in late 2011… which sex has the stronger tendency to stray?
*DRUM ROLL*
.
.
.
The answer: Women
The actual percentage figures of cheaters amongst women and men are 66% vs. 51%, respectively. In addition to these heartbreaking numbers, and to add insult to injury, the ratio of serial to one time only cheaters is 1 in 3 for men and 1 in 2 for women.
‘But, we’re all different Chris’ yes, we are, and I’m not running around with a pitchfork and condemning all women into a fiery hell. Not at all, in fact, despite this indiscretion that a few women have, I still very much love the fairer sex.
I know what some of you may be thinking, now that this abhorrent little fact has marinated in your heads for the past 30 seconds and you’re coming to terms with the reality, you’re thinking…’Hold on, what constitutes an act of cheating? Maybe women are higher up on the ladder because when they filled out this anonymous form they ticked the ‘hussy’ box because they flirted with the mailman once’ well, that is a great point you bring up. So, what does constitute an act of cheating? Let’s go to the dictionary and see if Webster can help us out.
in·fi·del·i·ty
ˌɪnfɪˈdɛlɪtiShow Spelled[in-fi-del-i-tee] Show IPA
noun, plural in·fi·del·i·ties.
1.
marital disloyalty; adultery.
2.
unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
3.
lack of religious faith, especially Christian faith.
4.
Hmm, that sounds like a lot of jargon and typical dictionary fanfare without really answering our question. Let’s try something else.
un·faith·ful
ʌnˈfeɪθfəlShow Spelled[uhn-feyth-fuhl] Show IPA
adjective
1.
not faithful; false to duty, obligation, or promises; faithless; disloyal.
2.
not sexually faithful to a spouse or lover.
3.
not accurate or complete; inexact: an unfaithful translation.
4.
Obsolete . unbelieving; infidel.
Check out the second definition in the above dictionary listing. ‘Not sexually faithful to a spouse or lover’ but it’s still not quite an answer. You can’t use the word you’re trying to define in the actual definition! Get your shit together Webster.
You know what? We don’t need any fancy dictionary to tell us what constitutes deceitful behavior in a relationship, we’re all adults here, and at the end of the day, what constitutes cheating for you will differ from your neighbor, your friends, your co-workers and anyone else you pass on the street, I guess all you can really hope for is that whatever you constitute as moral turpitude, your partner in crime will hopefully have the same point of view.
‘Hold on Chris! What if women were more open and forthright in this study?’ This is true, what if they were? Well, think about this, why would a man lie on an anonymous survey? He would have no reason to.
Would you confess to being unfaithful? Would you take your secret to the grave? Would you lie by omission? Would you end the relationship out of guilt? Would you be open and honest and hope for forgiveness? All these questions are now raised for the deceitful player in the relationship. I for one would come clean and be thrown to the mercy of the Gods and pray for a quick death by way of stoning. But hey, that’s just me, I have a very heavy conscience, even when I’ve done nothing wrong, having an affair or cheating on someone would just make my brain collapse on itself, and probably cause an aneurysm.
~INTERMISSION~
Let’s talk about the poor souls that have been cheated on. I say poor souls, but I don’t really mean it. Let me explain…
I have this friend that recently started dating a girl he met through friends. It all started very casual, just coffee and a few dinners here and there. About three months into the relationship, the flood gates come down and the honeymoon period is over, cupids poison dart has been removed from his chest and the exciting, whirlwind component of the relationship is over, we call this the courting stage, the most electrifying stage in any relationship. So, now the real ‘getting to know you stage’ starts, and before you know it the most famous and dreaded conversation fires up over a nice candlelit dinner… you all know this one. The ex partner stories.
Turns out this girl was cheated on, by not only one of her ex partners, but by three of them. Now, I can already sense what a few of you are thinking ‘Aww, poor girl’. Really? Poor girl? You see, the way I look at it, whenever someone tells me that they were cheated on, I instantly turn to myself and have an internal monologue that goes a little like this ‘Really? You were cheated on? What did you do? Maybe you’re an awful girlfriend, maybe you were a bad lover…clearly there is a reason that your ex cheated on you, so what was it?’
If everything in the relationship was all rainbows and lollipops sprinkled with fairy dust, then why did the ex cheat in the first place? What is it that made your new partner so unappealing to their ex? Can their ex lover see something that you can’t? Has cupids’ arrow poisoned your mind instead of your heart? Think about it everyone, you wouldn’t cheat on a nice, genuine and down to Earth person…and if your new partner is one of these nice, genuine and down to Earth people and they have been cheated on…maybe dig a little deeper before committing.
Just my opinion.
Until next time,
-Chris
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